Funniest Halloween Jokes for Kids That’ll Have You Howling with Laughter!
Hey there, ghouls and giggle goblins, Lulu Parker here! Halloween is my favorite excuse to dress like a bat, eat way too many candy bars, and scare my little brother just by wearing a sheet over my head (works every time).
But you know what’s even better than trick-or-treating? Trick-or-laughing! I’ve cooked up 120 brand-new Halloween jokes so fresh, even Dracula hasn’t heard them yet.
Get ready to cackle louder than a witch with hiccups.
Table of Contents
👻 Ghastly Ghost Giggles
Ghosts are supposed to be scary, but let’s be honest, most of them are just dramatic bed sheets who can’t mind their own business.
Here’s 20 ghostly jokes to tickle your funny bone
He had great “boo-gie” moves.
Boo-berry pie.
He kept “haunting” the hallways.
Hide and shriek.
He saw the spirit he liked.
Boo-nanas.
He wanted to check out some “phantom” books.
With invisible ink.
The roller-ghoster.
He had lots of spirit.
Spook-etti.
To get to the other “fright.”
They do dead-lifts.
It dampens their spirits.
A scare-dy cat.
You could see right through him.
Scare spray.
He wanted a boos.
A boo-fish.
To reach the high spirits.
Last Halloween, I put a sheet over my head to scare my neighbor. Instead of screaming, she offered me laundry detergent.
Perfectly Puny Pumpkins
Pumpkins are like Halloween’s orange celebrities. Some become jack-o’-lanterns, others become pies, and all of them are perfect for jokes.
To squash the competition.
Squash-ball.
It saw the pie crust.
Orange you glad I’m sorry.
The gourd-ar.
It always had a “smashing” punchline.
Squash-spectacles.
It wanted to be baked.
Hallo-gourd.
It was going on a gourd-trip.
You’re gourd-geous!
It didn’t want to be carved.
The Gourd of the Rings.
To get pump-kin muscles.
Sherlock Gourd.
It wanted to spice things up.
They have a smash.
Smashing Pumpkins (of course).
To sweep away the seeds.
The gourd-slide.
I once carved a pumpkin so scary that my cat refused to go in the kitchen for a week. The pumpkin wasn’t even lit — it just had a very judgmental face.
Mad Monster Giggles
Monsters might try to scare you, but deep down, most of them are just looking for friends… and maybe snacks. Let’s peek behind the fangs and claws for some monstrous laughs.
He wanted a second helping.
Neck-tarines.
He howled in class.
Wrap music.
He felt rotten.
Hide and shriek.
For the neck-tar tarts.
Give it a monster hug.
Howl-ami.
He didn’t have the guts.
Wrap cakes.
To get to high brains.
Fangsgiving.
On the scare waves.
He could hit all the high howls.
Dead lifts.
He was a wrap star.
A bloodhound.
With stream-ghouls.
He had no body to go with.
Did you know that in some countries, people used to carve turnips instead of pumpkins for Halloween? Imagine trying to scoop out a turnip, that’s basically weightlifting for your thumbs.
Haunted House Hilarity
Haunted houses are just regular houses with bad lighting and too many cobwebs. Still, they’re the perfect place for a little spooky silliness.
It wanted to look boo-tiful.
The living room… just kidding.
Location, location, incantation.
The coat closet , no bones about it.
Too many night visitors.
The broom closet.
They’re always moaning about something.
With a spook-wrench.
The curtains were too sheer.
Boo-logna.
The walls keep wailing.
With a broom-mate.
It had a bad case of creaky floor-itis.
The “coffin” maker.
The rent was bone-crushing.
The spell-door.
They’re afraid of the dark.
The cloak closet.
Outstanding in its fright.
Ceiling chips.
One time, I went to a haunted house and screamed so loud… I scared the guy working there. He actually broke character and said, “Whoa, are you okay?”
Trick-or-Treat Chuckles
Candy makes kids happy, dentists nervous, and jokes way sweeter. Here’s some sugary humor for your candy bucket
It wanted to be a Smartie.
Jaw-lates.
It needed a lick break.
A sweet ending.
It wanted a sticky position.
Anything with bite-sized pieces.
To get to the treat side.
Boo-berscotch.
Tangled in bad behavior.
Choco-late night jazz.
It saw the candy corn undressed.
Spell-tzers.
With candy glue.
To be a snack-star.
Jawbreakers.
For s’more fun.
Any gourd-and-sugar combo.
Put it under candy lock and key.
It was in a sour mood.
Stick-ball.
Halloween is the second-biggest candy-selling holiday in the U.S., right after Easter. That means somewhere, a warehouse is full of candy just waiting to make your dentist rich.
Wicked Witch & Spellbound Silliness
Witches aren’t all bad, some just have terrible GPS on their broomsticks. Here are 20 magically funny witch jokes.
To improve her spell-ing.
Hex-ercise.
It wanted to sweep into action.
Sand-witches.
She played a mean broomstick bass.
With spell-check.
Broom juice.
To make a cauldron of money.
Spell-aerobics.
Broom-sprouts.
Her broom was on strike.
Bat-minton.
It really swept the boss off their feet.
With scare spray.
To reach new heights.
Game of Brooms.
For better spell processing.
With spell cycles.
Hex-agons.
For broom-service.
I once tried to ride a broom like a witch. Turns out, brooms are terrible at steering and great at sweeping gravel into your face.
Boo You Later!
Well, my little jack-o’-laugh-terns, that’s 120 Funniest Halloween Jokes for Kids brewed fresh from my giggle cauldron. Whether you’re dressing up as a zombie cupcake or a vampire astronaut, remember: Halloween isn’t just about the candy… it’s about laughing until your fangs fall out. Boo you later!