Tell Me a Funny Joke! 80 Original Kids Jokes That’ll Have You LOL-ing

Hey There, Joke Explorers!

I’m Lulu Parker, your trusty captain of chuckles, and today’s mission is simple: make you laugh so hard you might launch milk from your nose.

You see, when someone says, “Tell me a funny joke!” I don’t just tell one, I tell a hundred! Buckle up, grab a snack (preferably a giggle-proof one), and let’s dive into the most side-splitting, eye-sparkling collection of totally original kid-approved jokes on the internet!

Table of Contents

Silly Animal Antics

Animals are already hilarious in real life, but when they star in jokes? That’s next-level funny! From quacking ducks to dancing bears, these critters are full of punchlines just waiting to hop, gallop, or wiggle their way into your brain.

Get ready for a laugh safari packed with original animal jokes that’ll have your tail wagging and your whiskers twitching.

Why don’t cows ever win hide and seek?

Because they always moo-ve!

What do you call a bear who loves dancing?

A teddy boogie!

Why did the duck sit on a calculator?

He wanted to quackulate his bill!

How do turtles talk to each other?

Using shellphones!

What do frogs eat with their burgers

French flies!

Why did the cat bring a microphone?

She was ready to meow-sic battle!

What’s a dog’s favorite pizza topping?

Pupperoni!

Why did the squirrel bring a suitcase?

He was going on a nut-cation!

What’s a lion’s favorite game?

Truth or Roar!

What do fish do after school?

They go to fin-ishing class!

Why was the chicken so good at basketball?

It had egg-cellent dribbling skills!

What do you call a snail who wins a race?

S-car go!

Why don’t zebras ever play poker?

Because they’re always striped for trouble!

What did the kangaroo say at the party?

Let’s bounce!

Why are bees always sticky?

Because they use honeycombs!

What do you call a dog that can sing opera?

Pavarawoo!

Why did the sheep bring sunscreen?

To avoid getting baa-rnt!

What do you get when you cross a pig and a magician?

Abra-ham-oink-dabra!

What’s a panda’s favorite food joke?

Let’s grab some bam-BOO-gers!

Why did the owl get a job?

He was wise with his money!

Cartoon boy attempting to high-five his goldfish in a bowl

🤪 Funny Story Break

One time, I tried to teach my goldfish how to high-five. I swear, he almost got it! Every time I tapped on the tank, he swam right to the top… but instead of slapping my finger, he blew bubbles. I guess in fish language, that’s a “splash five.” I gave him a tiny trophy shaped like a shrimp.

Goofy School Giggles

School doesn’t have to be all pencils and pop quizzes, it can be full of belly laughs too!

Whether it’s talking glue sticks or daydreaming backpacks, the classroom is secretly the funniest place on earth. These jokes will help kids giggle through spelling tests, dodge boring math, and survive even the longest assembly.

Why did the pencil get in trouble?

It had a sharp tongue!

What’s a calculator’s favorite snack?

Crunch numbers!

Why was the book always worried?

It had too many problems!

What do you call a math teacher with a beard?

Alge-bro!

Why was the history test so confident?

It already knew the past!

What did the backpack say to the lunchbox?

You carry me emotionally!

Why didn’t the computer go to school?

It had a byte ache!

What’s a pirate’s least favorite subject?

Arrrrrrt class!

Why was the ruler mad?

It couldn’t measure up to the others!

What’s the best subject in vampire school?

Spelling!

Why did the crayons go on strike?

They felt drawn out!

Why did the eraser cry?

It couldn’t rub out its feelings!

What do you get when you cross gym class and spaghetti?

Noodle arms!

Why did the glue feel stuck?

Because no one bonded with it!

Why did the whiteboard get promoted?

It was outstanding in its field!

What kind of grades do ghosts get?

Boo-pluses!

Why did the scissors fail the test?

It just couldn’t cut it!

What did the school bell say to the clock?

Time to ring in the fun!

Why was the art room so noisy?

Too many draw-mas!

What do janitors yell at parties?

Let’s sweep the dance floor!

🤯 Funny Story Break

When I was in second grade, I tried to microwave my lunch with the plastic fork still inside. The microwave made weird zapping noises, and I thought I’d created time travel. Spoiler: I did not. But my mashed potatoes did look like a UFO for three solid minutes.

Food Funnies & Snack Attacks

Food is funny all by itself. But when bananas talk and cookies have feelings?

Now we’re really cooking! This section serves up tasty puns and snack-sized silliness perfect for lunchbox laughs or dinnertime chuckles.

Warning: reading these jokes may cause extreme craving for pizza, pancakes, and puns.

Why don’t eggs tell secrets?

They might crack up!

What do you call a group of musical vegetables?

A jam session!

Why did the apple go to therapy?

It had serious core issues!

What’s a pizza’s favorite movie?

Pie Hard!

Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

It felt crumby!

What do you get when you cross a burger with a computer?

A byte to eat!

Why did the banana get a promotion?

It was a-peeling!

What’s a vampire’s favorite snack?

Blood oranges!

Why was the milk so dramatic?

It was spoiled rotten!

What did the donut say to the coffee?

You complete me!

Why do potatoes make good detectives?

They keep their eyes open!

What did the grape do when stepped on?

Nothing. It just let out a little wine!

Why did the salad cross the road?

To romaine calm!

What did one taco say to the other?

Lettuce be friends!

Why don’t peanuts get along?

They’re always nutty!

What’s a skeleton’s favorite snack?

Spare ribs!

Why was the spaghetti nervous?

It was about to be pasta sauce-d!

What’s orange and tells jokes?

A pun-kin!

Why did the sandwich blush?

It saw the salad dressing!

What’s a cow’s favorite drink?

Moo-lkshake!

😂 Funny Story Break

I once baked cookies without sugar… or flour… or eggs. Basically, I baked hot air. My brother said it tasted like “a crunchy fart cloud.” I considered it a compliment.

Totally Random, Totally Ridiculous

Not every joke needs to make sense, in fact, the weirdest ones are often the funniest!

This is the place where socks talk, clouds wear underwear, and time-traveling crayons exist.

Dive into the delightfully bizarre world of nonsense where the silliness knows no logic… and that’s exactly the point.

Why did the sock yell “Hooray”?

It finally found its solemate!

What did the chair say to the table?

Stop leaning on me, bro!

What do you call a ninja sheep?

Lamb-chop!

Why did the ghost join the talent show?

It had spirit!

Why was the broom late?

It swept in!

What do clouds wear under their clothes?

Thunderwear!

What’s a robot’s favorite ice cream flavor?

Byte chip!

Why was the pillow so moody?

It had too many stuffed emotions!

What did the lamp say to the plug?

You light up my life!

Why did the alien visit the bakery?

For spacecakes!

What do you call a detective duck?

Quack Holmes!

Why did the suitcase apply for a job?

It wanted to carry its weight!

What’s a mountain’s favorite song?

Rock You Like a Hurricane!

Why did the mirror feel awkward?

It couldn’t reflect on its feelings!

What do time-traveling kids say?

Let’s rewind recess!

Why did the refrigerator join band class?

It had cool vibes!

What’s the wind’s favorite joke?

One that blows everyone away!

What did the left shoe say to the right?

We make a great pair!

Why did the joke cross the internet?

To go viral!

What do crayons sing at parties?

Color me maybe!

Lulu’s Laughy Wrap-Up

There you have it, 80 original, squeaky-clean, totally kid-approved jokes! So the next time someone says, “Tell me a funny joke!” you can hit ‘em with your favorite zinger from this very blog.

Or all 80! Thanks for hanging out with me, giggle crew. Stay silly, stay kind, and remember: you’re never too old to laugh at a fart noise.

Until next time,

Lulu Parker