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40 Best Dad Jokes to Tell Kids: That’ll Make the Whole Family Laugh
Looking for the best dad jokes to tell kids? We’ve packed 40 brand-new groaners guaranteed to make you laugh, eye-roll, and maybe even snort.

Best Dad Jokes to Tell Kids: That’ll Make the Whole Family Laugh

🎉 Dad Jokes Are a Superpower

Hiya, giggle squad—it’s your girl Lulu Parker! Today we’re diving into the mysterious world of dad jokes, those cheesy little treasures that dads sprinkle into every conversation like salt on popcorn. They’re not just jokes. They’re weapons of mass groan-struction.

But here’s the deal: these aren’t hand-me-down puns you’ve heard a million times. Nope, I’ve whipped up 40 fresh dad jokes for you to test out on your family, your friends, or even your pet hamster (though hamsters are famously tough crowds).

20 Best Dad Jokes to Tell Kids That Are So Bad… They’re Brillianti

Warning: These next 20 dad jokes are so groan-worthy, you might need sunglasses to protect yourself from the eye-rolls. Dads everywhere will be proud. Kids everywhere will pretend not to laugh, but they secretly will.

  • Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?

Because then it would be a foot!

  • Why don’t eggs tell each other secrets?

They might crack up!

  • What did one wall say to the other?

I’ll meet you at the corner!

  • Why can’t a bicycle stand up by itself?

It’s two-tired!

  • Why was the math book so sad?

Because it had too many problems!

  • What do you call fake spaghetti?

An impasta!

  • Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field!

  • Why don’t oysters donate to charity?

Because they’re shellfish!

  • What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?

Sneakers!

  • Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole in one!

  • What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?

A can’t opener!

  • Why did the computer go to the doctor?

Because it caught a virus!

  • What’s brown and sticky?

A stick!

  • Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing!

  • What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fsh!

  • Why don’t skeletons fight each other?

They don’t have the guts!

  • Why was the belt arrested?

For holding up a pair of pants!

  • Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don’t work!

  • What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?

Nacho cheese!

  • Why was the broom late?

It swept in!

There you go—the first batch of 20 best dad jokes to tell kids. Admit it, you laughed at least twice and groaned about 18 times. Don’t stop now, we’ve still got 40 more groan grenades locked and loaded.

Cartoon dad telling candy joke while kid groans and dog leaves
🤣 Funny Story Break

One time, my dad told me, “Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint!” I groaned so loudly, the dog left the room. Dad just laughed like he won the comedy championship. Classic dad move.

🙃 20 More Best Dad Jokes to Tell Kids (Brace Yourself for Maximum Groans)

Round two, my friends! These next 20 jokes are like dad’s secret stash of puns in the garage—hidden away, dusty, but still deadly funny. Buckle up, because your eyeballs are about to roll like marbles on a kitchen floor.

  • Why did the cookie go to the hospital?

Because it felt crummy!

  • What did one plate say to the other?

Dinner’s on me!

  • Why can’t you trust stairs?

Because they’re always up to something!

  • Why don’t basketball players go on vacation?

Because they’d get called for traveling!

  • Why did the stadium get so hot?

All the fans left!

  • What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

Supplies!!

  • What kind of tree fits in your hand?

A palm tree!

  • Why did the banana go to the doctor?

Because it wasn’t peeling well!

  • Why was the math teacher suspicious of prime numbers?

Because they looked odd!

  • What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot!

  • Why did the cat sit on the computer?

To keep an eye on the mouse!

  • What’s Forrest Gump’s password?

1Forrest1!

  • Why did the scarecrow become a stand-up comic?

Because he was outstanding in his field—again!

  • Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay?

Because then they’d be bagels!

  • What kind of music do mummies listen to?

Wrap music!

  • Why did the clock get kicked out of class?

Because it was tocking too much!

  • Why don’t fish play basketball?

They’re afraid of the net!

  • Why did the banana go out with the prune?

Because it couldn’t find a date!

  • Why was the computer cold?

It left its Windows open!

Phew! That’s 40 dad jokes down, and if your sides aren’t aching yet, check your funny bone, it might be broken.

Don’t give up now.

Cartoon dad holding trophy at pun contest stage
🌟 Fun Fact Break

Did you know there’s an actual World Championship for pun competitions? The O. Henry Pun-Off in Texas! I bet dads would dominate that contest with their dad jokes about socks, snacks, and car rides.

🎉 Thanks, Dad (We Guess…)

And there you have it, 40 brand-new dad jokes that are guaranteed to make you laugh, groan, and maybe throw a pillow at your dad.

Remember, dad jokes aren’t just jokes, they’re a love language. So go on, share these with your kids, your friends, or even your goldfish. (Goldfish don’t laugh much, but you never know.)

💜 Lulu Parker

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